Failures bordering me

Why is this happening again to me?
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why can't i find myself?
Why can't i find my true self?
I lost my passion.
I lost my desire.
I lost my determination.
I lost my 'fire'.
I lost everything...except for my weight. (Please stay calm! Don't laugh!)

Pei San scolded me for being like this.
She is true.
I have changed.
From BAD to WORSE...
I am not clever and not smart, either.
What i can boast about me WERE just some passion, determination and desire.
Now that all these things have gone away from me,
What is left with me?
It is merely FAILURE...